1991
I was sitting watching “Point Break”
Cinema was dark
Then I felt a strange kind of ache
It was all your fault
Something in me was about to wake
Then I saw your face
Made me wanna do a double take

Curtain bangs left me juicy
Keanu, not Gary Busey
Wonder if my parents could see
Puberty was gettin’ messy
Had to keep a secret
It was only in my fantasy
I was just a girl
But you brought the woman out in me

Get it hot
Get it done
Hit da spot
He da one
I feel an explosion coming
Fired like I am a gun
I’m no Sandra Bullock, but I got a good Bang
And I’m thinking of Keanu while I’m doing my thang

CHORUS:
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
Whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
Whoa
(Go Keanu!)

Found you so spectacular
In Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Wanted to be one of da
Naked brides to suck on ya
So your accent wasn’t there
Not like anybody cared
You ain’t winnin’ Oscars
But you’re winnin’ hearts everywhere

“Feeling Minnesota”?
Yeah, I’m feelin’ somethin’ in me rise
You’re “The Devil’s Advocate”
I got the devil in my eyes
So, it was to my surprise
You were Jesus in disguise
Neo from “The Matrix” was my new obsession
Made me cry

Help me, lawd
Help me, please
On my hands
On my knees
Sunglasses and trenches
Oh, Keanu, you are such a tease!
I’m no Trinity
But I swear I’m just as hole-y
I can move a little faster
We don’t have to take this slowly

CHORUS:
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
Whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
Whoa
(Go Keanu!)

BRIDGE:
And you’ll always be my baby even if
Randall Park punches you in the face
Your beauty can’t be erased, no
And I’ll take those sloppy seconds from Ali Wong
In my eyes, you can do no wrong
Come to mama
I can help you move on

CHORUS:
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
Whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
You make go whoa
Whoa
(Go Keanu!)
(Whoa!)

Oh my god!