1991 I was sitting watching “Point Break” Cinema was dark Then I felt a strange kind of ache It was all your fault Something in me was about to wake Then I saw your face Made me wanna do a double take Curtain bangs left me juicy Keanu, not Gary Busey Wonder if my parents could see Puberty was gettin’ messy Had to keep a secret It was only in my fantasy I was just a girl But you brought the woman out in me Get it hot Get it done Hit da spot He da one I feel an explosion coming Fired like I am a gun I’m no Sandra Bullock, but I got a good Bang And I’m thinking of Keanu while I’m doing my thang CHORUS: You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa Whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa Whoa (Go Keanu!) Found you so spectacular In Bram Stoker’s Dracula Wanted to be one of da Naked brides to suck on ya So your accent wasn’t there Not like anybody cared You ain’t winnin’ Oscars But you’re winnin’ hearts everywhere “Feeling Minnesota”? Yeah, I’m feelin’ somethin’ in me rise You’re “The Devil’s Advocate” I got the devil in my eyes So, it was to my surprise You were Jesus in disguise Neo from “The Matrix” was my new obsession Made me cry Help me, lawd Help me, please On my hands On my knees Sunglasses and trenches Oh, Keanu, you are such a tease! I’m no Trinity But I swear I’m just as hole-y I can move a little faster We don’t have to take this slowly CHORUS: You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa Whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa Whoa (Go Keanu!) BRIDGE: And you’ll always be my baby even if Randall Park punches you in the face Your beauty can’t be erased, no And I’ll take those sloppy seconds from Ali Wong In my eyes, you can do no wrong Come to mama I can help you move on CHORUS: You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa Whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa You make go whoa Whoa (Go Keanu!) (Whoa!) Oh my god!

I can say that I made mistakes That I wasn’t too smart That I picked the wrong date Then Trouble seemed to come my way But it wasn’t my plan It wasn’t my day When You decided to give up on us To abandon us Betraying my trust How could this girl ever believe She was a woman deserving of love? Time slowed I was feeling too low Get back on the horse again Put on a show Just when I thought it was over, it wasn’t Keanu happened to darken my door He lost a puppy But then he found me Who knew I could be So freaking happy? So unexpectedly He could take care of me Believe in destiny ‘Cause it was meant to be Good god! Where the hell have you been all my life, baby? Good god! Don’t you know you drive me crazy? CHORUS: ‘Cause John Wick is my boyfriend And I know that this is true love He’s a cold killer with a big heart And he’s everything that I dreamed of ‘Cause John Wick is boyfriend And I probably don’t need to tell you That if you ever try to mess with me Well, my boyfriend’s gonna kill you ‘Cause John Wick is my boyfriend ‘Cause John Wick is my boyfriend I love a man Dressed all in black Driving a Mustang No Cadillac He got dat pretty hair He got dem tatts Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat And when he kisses me I kiss him back So hard it hurts A heart attack I rip his shirt off It’s worth the payoff He got dat body He got dat six pack Makes me wet And I must confess He’s a sacrament When he gets undressed And I feel so blessed And there’s no more stress When he gets me hot With every caress He’s a born lover Discover My weakness Uncover He is a miracle He thinks I’m beautiful Gives me a fever And now I’m incurable Good god! Where the hell have you been all my life, baby? Good god! Don’t you know you drive me crazy? CHORUS: ‘Cause John Wick is my boyfriend And I know that this is true love He’s a cold killer with a big heart And he’s everything that I dreamed of ‘Cause John Wick is boyfriend And I probably don’t need to tell you That if you ever try to mess with me Well, my boyfriend’s gonna kill you ‘Cause John Wick is my boyfriend BRIDGE: I’m so glad you left me all alone Life is better now Who could have known That it would be Keanu To replace you? Upgraded Dreams come true You left me all alone Life is better now Who could have known? Hope you die with your hand on your sad dick While I’m making love to John Wick CHORUS: ‘Cause John Wick is my boyfriend And I know that this is true love He’s a cold killer with a big heart And he’s everything that I dreamed of ‘Cause John Wick is boyfriend And I probably don’t need to tell you That if you ever try to mess with me Well, my boyfriend’s gonna kill you ‘Cause John Wick is my boyfriend ‘Cause John Wick is my boyfriend ‘Cause John Wick is my boyfriend Good god! Good god! Good god!

You caught me off guard Never expected this Saw you in Saint Laurent Started to reminisce Thinking of past lives And of what could have been And now I find myself Afraid of what I’m letting in It isn’t like me To think of you this way But you’re Keanu And you will always stay In my heart, in my mind, In my thoughts, you will find Something old awakened in me That I thought I’d left behind Then I close my eyes And you appear to me Just like a daydream CHORUS x 2: I see your face See your future Future face So ambiguous in race Kissing me in Cyberspace You got me in your Matrix Caught me and I’m helpless Metaphysical bliss I’m not ready for this I can’t forget you Forget the physical Johnny Mnemonic You are still beautiful You got that boyish charm A smile that I adore Are you my next adventure? The one I’m waiting for? Do you remember We were Cyberpunks together? It was you and me against the system We thought we would live forever Partly Asian We don’t raisin Look the same ‘Cause we’re not agin’ At E3, you were amazin’ Cyberpunk 2077 Breathtakin’! Then I close my eyes And you appear to me Just like a daydream CHORUS x 2: I see your face See your future Future face So ambiguous in race Kissing me in Cyberspace You got me in your Matrix Caught me and I’m helpless Metaphysical bliss I’m not ready for this BRIDGE: I know that I’ll miss you When you’re gone from here You’re more than what you seem I close my eyes And you appear to me Just like a daydream CHORUS x 4: I see your face See your future Future face So ambiguous in race Kissing me in Cyberspace You got me in your Matrix Caught me and I’m helpless Metaphysical bliss I’m not ready for this

I remember 1991 Cassette tapes of Paula Abdul were so much fun Dancing to her music videos Blasting “Straight Up” on my sister’s radio Then I saw you You were there on MTV “Rush, Rush” came over me You made me so thirsty And then I prayed to thee CHORUS: Crush, crush Hurry up, Keanu Come to me Crush, crush Won’t you come? Won’t you come to set me free? Crush, crush I could swear I could swear you’re holding me Crush, crush Ooh, won’t you hear my plea? Taped the video and hit the pause You were like James Dean in “Rebel Without a Cause” A red jacket and some mid-length hair Felt so close to you Felt like you were really there Inside my room A sweet face and puppy eyes Gave me and Paula butterflies Who cares if her boyfriend dies? It’s you I fantasize CHORUS: Crush, crush Hurry up, Keanu Come to me Crush, crush Won’t you come? Won’t you come to set me free? Crush, crush I could swear I could swear you’re holding me Crush, crush Ooh, won’t you hear my plea? BRIDGE: I could feel my heartbeat slow Every time I watched you go Keanu, Keanu Turning off my MTV Wanted you so desperately I know you know it’s meant to be (dialogue) Can I ask you something? -Sure, Keanu, go ahead Have you ever been in love? -Meh, not really! Though, looking at you, I’m starting to change my mind. Let’s make out in an abandoned mansion! -Yeah, I wonder if I should be sad about that car crash. I mean, he totally died. That just reminds me that we’re all alone. That’s all. -Okay, cool. We’re still gonna make out, right? You bet! Keanu’s gonna make it all better baby! You’re gonna be My brand new boyfriend Though your acting was wooden In that “Rush, Rush” video Still wished it would never end CHORUS x 2: Crush, crush Hurry up, Keanu Come to me Crush, crush Won’t you come? Won’t you come to set me free? Crush, crush I could swear I could swear you’re holding me Crush, crush Ooh, won’t you hear my plea? Crush, crush Crush, crush Crush, crush Crush, crush Crush, crush

I didn’t know that You were so serious When you had told me You’re in love with someone new You were a liar And I was blindsided How could you burn me And just break my heart in two? So lonely If I only Could say one thing to you CHORUS: It would be goodbye Goodbye to the best person that you ever knew Now I am dancing with Keanu I’m so much stronger And I won’t waste my time with losers just like you Now I am dancing with Keanu How could I not see You were so selfish? And you felt insecure When standing next to me? So you betrayed me Do you feel like a man now? I know I’m twice the woman she could ever be So lonely If I only Could say one thing to you CHORUS: It would be goodbye Goodbye to the best person that you ever knew Now I am dancing with Keanu I’m so much stronger And I won’t waste my time with losers just like you Now I am dancing with Keanu BRIDGE: You cut deep Now I can’t sleep How will I make it through? So lonely If I only Could say one last thing to you (You know what? You can f*** off, ass****!) CHORUS: It would be goodbye Goodbye to the best person that you ever knew Now I am dancing with Keanu I’m so much stronger And I won’t waste my time with losers just like you Now I am dancing with Keanu Now I am dancing with Keanu Now I am dancing with Keanu Now I am dancing with Keanu Pull up a chair He’s listening Tears for Keanu